Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Avatar (Warning: Contains Spoilers)

So I guess the best movie to start with would have to be the new sensation "Avatar". For those six of you that haven't seen the movie it is about these humans that have traveled to another planet in search of an alternative energy source. The main character is an ex-marine, who has been wounded and no longer has the use of his legs, named Jake. His identical twin brother was a scientist who was originally going to the new planet to help learn from the natives in his genetically engineered avatar but he was killed so the other scientists were forced to use Jake. So Jake goes to the planet with another scientist and joins the entire team of scientists, or as I call them the "hippies." They just fit too easily into this stereotype. So eventually Jake gets accustomed to his avatar and starts making friends with the natives. He gains their trust and eventually decides that he doesn't want to help destroy their home, which is his objective from his marine commander. Just a side note the marine commander also plays the marine commander role to a stereotypical T, right down to the scars on his face and his hatred of the hippies. So Jake and the other hippies try to warn the natives that their home is about to be destroyed but they don't listen and stay to watch their home get blown up. Then the hippies and the natives band together to fight the humans for control of the forest. Now comes the big fight scene where Jake battles the marine commander and of course wins and saves the planet from the evil humans. But the corniness doesn't end there, Jake then decides to leave his old body for good and only live through the avatar with the natives forever. This is a very quick overview but this story doesn't need much detail considering it has been told a million times over.
Now, it has grossed more money than any other movie in history. However, I would like to point out that this is because of the inflation that has occurred over the years. In addition to that there is the fact that it was released in 3-D which adds about three bucks to the already staggering ticket price. It actually ranks about 17th all time according to some website(http://boxofficemojo.com/alltime/adjusted.htm). Now, all that being said, I think you might be able to gather what I thought about this film. It sucked and it may be one of the most overrated films in the history of film. Now I'm not saying that it was the worst movie of all time but it just had one of the most unoriginal and predictable scripts that I have ever seen. I guessed the major plot lines of the entire movie within the first five minutes. What a shock the hippies want to save the planet from the evil capitalistic and marine people who are trying to exploit the planet for its recourses. In my opinion "Avatar" is a mix between "The Matrix", "The Last Samurai" and "FernGully". That's right I said "FernGully" and I'll tell you why.
First it's like "The Matrix" because like "The Matrix" in "Avatar" the hippies have to transport into the body of another being. Thats basically where the comparisons end because "The Matrix" is actually original and a good film.
Next we have "The Last Samurai", these films are similar because like in "The Last Samurai" the main character starts out working for the enemy and ends up being captured and then spends enough time with his enemy to see he actually likes them. Then the main character ends up fighting against the people he originally worked for. However, spoiler alert, in "The Last Samurai" (which is also a much better movie) the "good guys" don't win like they do in "Avatar." This is almost exactly what happened in "Avatar". Jake starts out trying to get the indigenous people to leave their home so the humans can get what they need but then he spends enough time with the natives to realize that he likes them and wants to help them fight against the people he used to work for.
Now to the comparison that you must be thinking is the most far fetched. "Avatar" is like "FernGully" because in "FernGully" the main characters live in a big tree in the middle of a forest and the "bad guys" want to bulldoze the forest and the big tree to make way for whatever it is they want to build to make money. See it is very similar, I told you. If you still don't believe me just go rent "FernGully" and you'll see. I also highly recommend renting either "The Matrix" or "The Last Samurai" if you have never seen them they are good films.
I do have to say that "Avatar" looked awesome. The special effects and graphics were spectacular and the 3-D aspect made it even better. Now because of the special effects and the 3-D I do recommend that if you haven't seen it that you do so but only if it's in 3-D. This is not a movie that is good unless it's in a theater and in 3-D. So after all of my rambling I have to say it's a decent movie but not one I would rent. Overall I give it a low C. It just barley makes it to a C because of the graphics, 3-D and action.
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Mission Statement
You know when a new movie comes out and everyone says its great you have to see it and then you go and find out it blows worse than having some homeless guy take a shit next to your car and then break into your car to use some clothes you left in there to wipe his ass. (Trust me it happens.) Well this blog is to make sure that this never happens to you. I will try to give you my honest opinion and let you know whether the movie is worth seeing or not. And if the movie really sucks I will try and give you enough ammo to make fun of it to other people who are dumb enough to like it.
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Rating Scale
BK(Bee's Knees): This is primarily reserved for classics like "The Godfather" I don't see any new releases making this grade any time soon.
A: This is for a great movie that is destined for my dvd collection and would see multiple times in theaters. They have that extra something that stands out.
B: This is for movies that are better than just good but they lack that "X" factor. These are ones that you see in the store and are like oh shit I really liked this movie and I forgot about it but now I need to buy it.
C: This is for movies that are just alright. They are predictable, simple and fun to watch but you were a little disappointed when you saw them. You were like damn that movie could've been better, I'm disappointed now. However, you still might put them in your dvd collection if someone gives it to you.
D: This is for movies that just suck. They are either not what you thought they would be or you got tricked or forced into going to see. These are extremely predictable and serve little entertainment. You have no interest in seeing it again and if someone gave it to you, you would defiantly try and sell it for beer money.
SB(Sucks Balls): This category is for movies that just really suck balls. This one, like the BK category, most movies wont fall into but I still have it for movies like "A.I. Artificial Intelligence" remember that movie, man it really sucked balls.
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